cultivate contentment

hey guys, i’m back from my hill country property scouting adventure. came back empty handed. none of the properties are quite working for what we want to do or they’ve already got offers in. SO that’s that, but it’s all good. God is showing me that i need to trust more and chill more. and he’s also probing my little heart lately. we’re doing some real introspection over here, and i’m prompted to bring it up here because i’m guilty of doing this in alot of areas and maybe you are too. so, the other day i’m daydreaming the day away. my dishes are piling up, laundry too, and the kids are really putting a buzzkill on my blog surfing. in fantasyland i’m relaxing on my cottage porch, kids playing in the yard. and i feel such peace and rest in this imaginary place that i stay too long and reality sets back in. and i’m ticked that i had to stop because it was so good in my head. but this, this is loud and messy. this is not peaceful at all.

but the spirit starts working really patiently on me until i have a little breakthrough. walk with me here. let’s just call him spirit and i’ll be me ok, cause sometimes there’s this brain dialogue going on and you just have to listen in…

Spirit: if it’s messy and loud here, do you think it will be there too? it’s the same dishes and the same people.

me: yeah, but in the country i’ll be much neater. i’ll have a nice time doing the dishes looking out my pretty window. and i’ll have all kinds of time because i’ve simplified my lifestyle and possessions, so i’ll have some free time.

Spirit: so what will you do with all your free time?

me: oh, i don’t know. probably just sit on the porch alot. and i think maybe i’ll take up gardening. i’ve always wanted to have a garden. i can totally see myself gardening.

Spirit: and the kids will just go outside and play?

me: yeah, definitely. if i go outside, they do too. they love playing outside, but they mostly just want to be with me, and they love it when i’m relaxed and unplugged.


well, then Spirit didn’t say jack, He just sat there all quiet cause He knew He made His point, right? Lightbulb moment: I have a beautiful porch right outside this door. no, it doesn’t have a mountaintop view, but it’s still wonderful and peaceful. i also have an empty bed to put some flowers in. abby was having lunch with my mom and will at school, so it was just me and jude, and i scooped him up and went to the plant nursery. i bought some happy flowers and became a relaxed gardener last week. i worked harder than i thought i would, and i was sore the next day, but i did it. i searched it out and did it. moral of the story: get off the computer and go outside. and plant something natural and thank God for what you already have.

one more example to drive my point home, because i know alot of you are adopters and know what i’m talking about here. i seriously used to fantasize daily about my third child. i thought he’d be a girl and i pictured myself with her. i’d take her to all kinds of amazing places and introduce her to all kinds of amazing things. she would know such love! i’d pet her sweet little head to sleep and tell her stories and we’d go for walks. i’d just be a dreamy mom to her. but guess what?  i am not that mom! and if i wanted to be, i certainly could be to the two other children i already had under my roof. that’s not really my style. i’m a great mom, but what it looked like in my head is not reality, and reality is fine and great (even though there’s not a ton of me petting anyone’s sweet head to sleep. ain’t nobody got time for that!). the key to joy is contentment and gratitude, and that can be found right now, right where you are. i promise.


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